The Big Red Tool

May, 2010
Volume II, Issue 7

Ask Gabby

Dear Gabibbo-- I sent my professor a baloney sandwich as a thank-you gift. Now she looks at me funny whenever I come into class. What should I do? —Sad and Upset in Beamis

Dear Sad-- Did you put it in her campus mailbox? If so, leave the state immediately. —Gabibbo

Cher Gabibbo-- J'en ai déjà marre de The Western™. Comment allez-vous passez les vacances? —Marie Ennui

Chère Ennui, Il y a beaucoup d'activités “excitantes” au parc public. Ça passe les temps, henh henh henh! —M. Gabibbo

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Coal, Naturally

Oral Arguments in ISCET Lawsuit to be Relocated from Warren County Court

In This Issue:

New Provost Introduced . . . More >

The Western™ to Expand Benefits . . . More >

Outgoing Provost Finalizes . . . More >

Potter Dean Tortures . . . More >

Campus Happenings . . . More >

Big Red Tool Prohibited From . . . More >

Ransdell to Solve Nation's . . . More >

Inside this Edition . . . More >

Vampires Discovered . . . More >

Stop the Presses! . . . More >

Ask Gabby . . . More >

Free Coupon! . . . More >

Bonus Online-Only Feature . . . More >

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Contact us at thewestern.bigredtool@gmail.com.

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