screw you

August, 2009
Volume II, Issue 1

Incoming Freshman Style Guide:
What's In, What's Out

We know it’s tough to fit in when you’re new to campus. As a public service, The Big Red Tool offers its Freshman Style Guide—2009.

What's Out What's In
  • Good News Bible
  • Tighty Whities
  • Puberty
  • High School Squeeze
  • Hannah Montana
  • FFA
  • White Sheets
  • Ankle Butterfly Tattoo
  • Dairy Queen
  • Stealing Mom’s Smokes
  • Eighth-Grade Reading Skills
  • Bitter, Angry Teachers
  • King James Bible
  • Going Commando
  • Freshman 25
  • Roommate’s Girlfriend
  • Herpes
  • Parties at the AGR House
  • Plastic Sheets
  • Tramp Stamp
  • Froggy’s
  • “Tobacco” Water Pipe
  • Drop-Back Pre-Literacy
  • Bitter, Angry Teachers

And please leave behind idealism, chastity, temperance, and optimism. You won’t need them where you’re going.





Smoke up
President Ransdell Gears Up For The Listening Tour


In This Issue:

Presidential "Listening Tour" To Be Followed By . . . More >

Provost Announces Retirement . . . More>

New Dean of University Coilege . . . More>

Incoming Freshman Style Guide . . . More>

The Western™ Reacts . . . More>

The Western™ Football in Transitional Year. . . More>

Smoke up
Faculty at a 2009 "Engaging the Spirit" Session


The Big Red Tool spent summer break in President Ransdell's bedroom closet. Observing.
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