Student Committed to State Mental Institution
An unidentified male The Western™ student has been committed to a local mental institution by his fraternity brothers after repeatedly refusing to have sex with his horny girlfriend.
“Well, we really did it for his own good,” said one of the AGRs. “His girlfriend kept talking about how turned on she was, how much she loved him, and how she'd be going overseas soon and probably die in a war or something, and that she really needed to have sex because she was in a lot of pain.”
AGR brothers became aware of the man’s acute insanity after discovering the girlfriend’s Myspace page, which contained video footage of his repeated claims of having a headache, needing to study for a quiz, having the painters in, and of just wanting to wait until marriage. It was this last excuse that prompted his fraternity brothers to act.
Doctors planned to perform extensive tests and perhaps administer electric shock therapy.
One doctor also commented that he planned to conduct what he called “extensive” interviews with the girlfriend. “I think I can solve this problem,” he said.