screw you

December, 2009
Volume II, Issue 3

Back Issues




Do People Talk Like That In Real Life?

Dean Dean With Two First Names® of University College, taking recycling to curb: “I’ve got a really powerful vision of our goal, and the means to accomplish it. This task will be an invaluable service contribution to the community.”

Scott Stroot, Theatre and Dance Department, preparing a ham sandwich with mustard: “Weeeell, puttin’ a-too mucha mustard on that thing’ll burn your honker, man, make your nostrils rrrrrrun like the Yangtzee Rivaaah or melt like a twisted souuuuul.”

Wood Selig, Athletic Director, admiring a child’s lemonade stand, “You’ve got a gold mine here. You’ve got the resources, the talent, the facilities, and the personnel in place to go all the way.”

Gary Ransdell, President, describing his morning constitutional: “This is a critical digestive juncture, and we must stay the course and account for all the pertinent variables. We must bear down on the problem, and endeavor to persevere.”




Cut a hole in your monitor, bring it to Greener Groundz, mention Gabibbo, and get a free small pizza if you buy a large specialty one-topping pizza. Ask for pizza made by the sushi chef.

Coupon, stupid!











Smoke up
Early tests of the “Big Red Tail” colonoscopy machine on Wood Selig reveal interesting results.

In This Issue:

"Reality Star Studies" Major Online In January . . . More >

Coach Taggert Puts the "Tail" Back in Tailgating . . . More>

News Shorts . . . More>

Season Saved By Fourth-Quarter Heroics . . . More>

The Western™ License Plates . . . More>

Do People Talk Like That in Real Life? . . . More>

Also In This Issue . . . More>

Expert Consultants Added to Blue Ribbon Deception Panel . . . More>

Smoke up
Alternative-treatment colonoscopy.


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