screw you

February, 2010
Volume II, Issue 5

Back Issues



News Analysis: Strategery in Action

President Ransdell has released the new The Western™ Strategery Plan. A centerpiece of the Plan is to develop a more compelling brand image for The Western™. “Leading something something with intercontinental blah blah…. It’s just plain stale,” commented an anonymous source.

New branding slogans being considered include:

  • “Making the Ignorant 'Norant' Since 1906”
  • “Forever Young”
  • “Poor Students Deserve an Impoverished University”
  • “The Schlitz of Directional Universities”
  • “Where Every Student is a Very Special Number”
  • “We Will Award No Degree Before its Time”
  • “From the Land of Pleasant Living”
  • “Challenging Student Wallets since 2001”

New names being considered for The Western™ include:

  • Harverd University
  • Chillax Off the Chain College
  • TheWestern729@BowlingGreen.KY
  • Gary Force Honda/Toyota University
  • Commonwealth University
  • El Occidental™












No Goats Allowed!
AGR Fraternity Erects New Fence.

In This Issue:

The Western™ Denies Heath Care . . . More >

Major Changes for Herald . . . More >

Lost Freshman . . . More >

The Horoscope . . . More >

Farewell to "Wood" . . . More >

Strategery in Action . . . More >

The Olympic Dream . . . More >



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