screw you

February, 2010
Volume II, Issue 5

Back Issues



The Western™ Lives the Olympic Dream

To celebrate the Vancouver Winter Games, Academic Affairs will stage a “Campus Academic Olympics” on Saturday in Tate Page Hall.

“In the spirit of inspiring intellectual excellence in our students, our Academic Olympics will push students’ brain envelopes,” beamed Provost Barbara Burch.

The Academic Olympics will feature contests of wit and mind power such as “Spelling the Olympic Medals,” “Name the Color of My Learning Style,” and “Eat the Vowels,” in which students will be challenged to identify and consume vowel-shaped cupcakes.

“Since this is only for fun, we’ll be awarding gold medals to all contestants, just like we do in the classroom!,” explained Ed. School faculty member and Campus Olympics judge Elaine McBean, Ed.D. “And events like ‘Eat the Vowels’ will help us to comply with the literacy mandates of Senate Bill 1, too.”

Although brain power is the main focus of the Academic Olympics, students will also compete in several athletic events, including a 400-meter “JR Foods Run” and “Stair Luge,” in which students will glissade down the icy steps between Gordon Ford and McLean (weather permitting).












No Goats Allowed!
AGR Fraternity Erects New Fence.

In This Issue:

The Western™ Denies Heath Care . . . More >

Major Changes for Herald . . . More >

Lost Freshman . . . More >

The Horoscope . . . More >

Farewell to "Wood" . . . More >

Strategery in Action . . . More >

The Olympic Dream . . . More >



The Big Red Tool doesn't think coach MacDonald will get fired. Until the end of the season.
Contact us at
. Visit our blog at


Copyright © 2008-2009 The Big Red Tool
If you wish to cancel your subscription to this newsletter, click here.