SGA to Pass DUC Fee “Now”
Following a visit from The Western's™ Vice President for Student Fee Management, Vito Solazzo, SGA President Coulton Jessie has revised his stance on the DUC student fee. “Mr. Solazzo is very persuasive, in addition to being looming and enormous,” said Jessie. “He made me an offer that I couldn't refuse.”
Coulton and the other SGA officers “went for a ride” with Solazzo last month to visit student centers at other universities. The group also stopped at several tourist sites including a horse rendering plant, the Cleveland industrial brownfields, and Luna Azure restaurant, where student leaders dined on fish in newspapers, a Sicilian delicacy. “Mr. Solazzo made it clear that Dr. Ransdell would be quite disappointed if the SGA does not agree to the new fee,” explained wide-eyed SGA Public Affairs head Jessica Wurth.
The SGA will pass the new student fee at its next meeting, assured Jessie.