screw you

May, 2010
Volume II, Issue 7

Back Issues

 

 

Inside This Edition

  • Page Five: Dr. Burch to mark departure with series of 72-hour speeches; mandatory attendance for all faculty. “Holy crap!” exclaims everyone.
  • Page Eight: Emslie Authorizes Search for “Assistant Provost to Do Crappy Work Required of Provost.” “There’s no f***ing way I’m going to Engaging the Spirit ever again!” barked Emslie.
  • Page Thirteen: Earth Day attendance down due to inconvenient location, lack of parking, conflicts with “Warren County Tire Burnin’ Day” events.
  • Page Twenty-One: City Commission to abolish prayer before bi-weekly meetings: “It just isn’t working. We want to avoid having public officials on their knees too much.”
  • Page Thirty-Four: Domestic Partner Benefits Prompts the The Western™ to Celebrate Gayness. “Good God! Those stylish people are everywhere,” exclaimed Regent Yevette Haskins.

 

 

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Coal, Naturally

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oral Arguments
Oral Arguments in ISCET Lawsuit to be Relocated from Warren County Court

In This Issue:

New Provost Introduced . . . More >

The Western™ to Expand Benefits . . . More >

Outgoing Provost Finalizes . . . More >

Potter Dean Tortures . . . More >

Campus Happenings . . . More >

Big Red Tool Prohibited From . . . More >

Ransdell to Solve Nation's . . . More >

Inside this Edition . . . More >

Vampires Discovered . . . More >

Stop the Presses! . . . More >

Ask Gabby . . . More >

Free Coupon! . . . More >

Bonus Online-Only Feature . . . More >

 

 

The Big Red Tool needs a date for the prom:
Contact us at thewestern.bigredtool@gmail.com
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