screw you

Nov, 2010
Volume III, Issue 3

Back Issues

 

 

Big Red Tool Clarifies Position on Issues

In an effort to combat recent complaints that the Big Red Tool is “too liberal,” the editorial staff would like to clarify its official position on several issues. 

This we believe:
  • Humans and dinosaurs walked the earth together, and often met up for drinks
  • President Obama is a Muslim, but sure is a snappy dresser with a solid jump shot
  • The extensive use of Chinese slave labor is the best way to revitalize America’s economy 
  • Violent video games cause children to either become serial killers or liberal college professors
  • President Obama was really born in Keynesia
  • Glenn Beck University coursework should be transferable to The Western™
  • Sarah Palin Should Run for President in 2012
  • According to the Maya, the World Will End in 2012
  • The earth is only 42 years old, despite the claims of the lamestream media
  • Vegetarians are un-American and must be ground delicious sloppy joes
  • Our corporate masters always have our best interests in mind
  • Premarital sex is a sin. We’re looking at you, Seth Richardson of 523 E. 10th Street

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In This Issue:

The Western™ Ranks . . . More >

Students Tax Parents . . . More >

The Tool Celebrates Football . . . More >

Books Illegal on Campus . . . More >

The "Quantum Gordon" Theory. . . More >

BoR Will Not Rename University. . . More >

The Tool Clarifies Position . . . More >

In This Issue . . . More >

 

 

The Big Red Tool is 11-point Arial. Every time, sir.
Contact us at thewestern.bigredtool@gmail.com
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