President Ransdell Works to Turn Crisis Into Opportunity
President Ransdell used the closing ceremony of Master Plan to address the so-called “Freshman Problem”—the lack of housing for incoming students.
“You’ve come to this great university, at a unique and transformative time in its history,” he began, as usual. He then snapped his fingers, and dispatched the Spirit Masters into the audience to pass out hard-hats.
“These hats are for when you want to walk on our beautiful campus. You’ll need ‘em. Each of you will find a shovel, spade, or hammer under your seat. Be a part of the change! I challenge you all to help build the prestige of The Western™.” After a pregnant pause he barked, “No, really, start digging. I’m not kidding.”
Students will gain credit-for-learning in Philosophy and Religion for hanging drywall in the Columbarium, in Recreation for performing asbestos removal in the old wing of the football stadium, and from the Economics Department for foundation work at the new Ayn Rand College of Business building.