screw you

October, 2009
Volume II, Issue 2



Around Campus

  • Potter College Announces “Itchy and Scratchy Professorship in Political Economy”: New Poli. Sci. Curriculum Requires Teaching Nintendo's “Itchy & Scratchy in Miniature Golf Madness” as Game Theory
  • The Western™ to eliminate expensive heteros from health plan: “Too Many Claims” Asserts Tony Glisson
  • College Heights Herald Proclaims Self “Hip, Edgy”
  • The Western™ to Limit Enrollment to 18,000 Mediocre Students
  • Campus Christians to Mount “Girls Gone Mild” Bus Tour





Smoke up
An “internal audit” reveals the funding source for Dean Kahler and Wood Selig’s raises.

In This Issue:

President Ransdell Works to Turn Crisis Into Opportunity . . . More >

College of Business Proposes New Gen Ed Language Requirement . . . More>

Neverending Losses for The Western™ Football Bring Rewards . . . More>

The Ten Commandments of The Western™ . . . More>

Around Campus . . . More>

The Outside World . . . More>

Horoscope, Dear Gabibbo . . . More>

Correction . . . More>

Smoke up
While shopping for Mickey Mouse ashtrays at Flealand artist Matt Tullis unearthed an early study of Grant Wood’s iconic “American Gothic.” Scholars of American art were astonished to discover that a youthful Barbara Burch and Jedediah Bodine Smiley, III, grandfather of the current SGA President, were the models for the classic painting.


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