screw you

October, 2009
Volume II, Issue 2

Back Issues




Virgo: You will find beauty in a new Gemini, especially after a couple beers.
Libra: Locking squirrels in your car will not be as funny as you thought it would.
Scorpio: Ration your kindness this month, because it’s fun to be a jerk sometimes.

Dear Gabibbo

“My new boyfriend smells just like my dad. It’s seriously freaking me out. What should I do?” —Bothered in Bemis

Dear Bothered
     Stop smelling your dad. —Gabibbo

Need [Anonymous] Advice? Ask Gabibbo at







Smoke up
An “internal audit” reveals the funding source for Dean Kahler and Wood Selig’s raises.

In This Issue:

President Ransdell Works to Turn Crisis Into Opportunity . . . More >

College of Business Proposes New Gen Ed Language Requirement . . . More>

Neverending Losses for The Western™ Football Bring Rewards . . . More>

The Ten Commandments of The Western™ . . . More>

Around Campus . . . More>

The Outside World . . . More>

Horoscope, Dear Gabibbo . . . More>

Correction . . . More>

Smoke up
While shopping for Mickey Mouse ashtrays at Flealand artist Matt Tullis unearthed an early study of Grant Wood’s iconic “American Gothic.” Scholars of American art were astonished to discover that a youthful Barbara Burch and Jedediah Bodine Smiley, III, grandfather of the current SGA President, were the models for the classic painting.


The Big Red Tool is on a "listerning" tour.
Contact us at
. Visit our blog at


Copyright © 2008-2009 The Big Red Tool
If you wish to cancel your subscription to this newsletter, click here.