screw you

Sept, 2010
Volume III, Issue 1

Back Issues



Script for “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” Leaked

Just weeks after signing a multi-million dollar contract with TLC, the ezine has leaked the script outline for Sarah Palin’s new reality show, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.”

In Episode 3, entitled “The Real Wasilla,” cameras follow Palin to the Wal-Mart Supercenter where the former governor discovers, much to her confusion, that the discount megastore does not carry $800 Kawasaki 704 rimless glasses or $2,500 ivory silk shantung jackets by Italian designer Valentino.

In Episode 5, entitled “My Believes,” Palin discusses how helicopter hunting in the Alaskan tundra is an apt metaphor for American thermonuclear deterrence policy.  “No matter how cold or tired I get in that windy hunting ‘copter, I’ll never let a feral wolf shoot at me first.  Never.  That’s just silly billy stupid,” explained Palin.  “So why wouldn’t we fire nucular rockets at enemies that threaten us like a wolf?  You mess with the wolf, you get the horns.

In other news, has offered a $10,000 reward for rumored photos of the love-child that resulted from Palin’s highly publicized tryst with Bowling Green eye surgeon and Senate candidate Ru Paul, which reportedly occurred on a cocktail table at downtown night spot “FLUID” following a Tea Party rally in June.




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In Reservoir Tip

In This Issue:

New Provost Plans . . . More >

The Western™ Launches Initiative . . . More >

The Gordon & Gordon Show . . . More >

Internal Memo . . . More >

Ransdell's Halftime . . . More >

Sarah Palin's Alaska . . . More >

Weather Channel Cliffhanger . . . More >

Also In This Issue . . . More >

Bonus Online-Only Feature . . . More >



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