screw you

September, 2011
Volume IV, Issue 1

Back Issues




Once again, the crack-addled staff at the Big Red Tool has conducted a laborious series of interviews with faculty, staff, students, Chauncey, and a hooker from Tattletails named Boopsie in order to bring you the annual “What’s Allowed and What’s Not Allowed” guide.

What's Allowed
What's Not



Parking Structure Sex

Parking Structure Planking

Sex With Goats

Planking Goats

Division I Football

Men's Soccer



Term Limits for Regents

Term Limits for Lazy Regents

Rally for Retention

Rally for The Planker

Partner hiring, if they’re qualified

Partner hiring, if they’re faculty

Parking on Grass during Football Games

Vomiting on Grass during Football Games
















Smoke up
GAR Shows The Kids How It's Done

In This Issue:

Star Recruit Lost! . . . More >

Tyranny Thwarted!! . . . More >

Retention Rally Memo . . . More >

Journalism Scandal . . . More >

What's Allowed, What's Not . . . More >

Football Season . . . More >

News in Briefs . . . More >


Smoke up
The Sport of Kings, the King of Sports


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